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My wife's mad at me because she said I never buy her flowers

I honestly didn't even know she sold flowers

dadjoke

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Looking for a natural mood booster? Science agrees: laughter truly is medicine for the soul! Whether you need a quick pick-me-up, an icebreaker for awkward moments, or just want to spread joy, corny jokes are your secret weapon.

In this curated list, we’ve compiled the best dad-approved one-liners, groan-worthy puns, and cheeky quips guaranteed to deliver belly laughs. Share these crowd-pleasing jokes at work, family dinners, or parties—no prescription needed!

funny dad jokes

funny dad jokes
1. Piercings

I saw a blonde with nipple piercings and asked her why she got them, she said, she was told that when you get older your boobs deflate, so she's trying to cap her air bags.

2. At the dinner table my friends parents would tell them:

"Finish your food, have you considered there's kids starving in Asia?". At my dinner table my parents would ask me "have you considered euthanasia?" I tell ya, no respect.

3. Remember that for a while, nail clippers weren't allowed on planes because apparently, they could be turned into a weapon

Open the cockpit door! Or the bitch loses a hangnail!

4. We all know the chemical formula for water is H20

But when you give it to a dog it becomes K9P

5. f(x) walks into a bar

The bartender says "sorry, we don't cater for functions".

6. What's the difference between a harbour and a port?

I couldn't eat an entire harbour but I could drink a nice port.

7. After the day's session at the annual meeting of SPUAH (Society for People of Under Average Height), many of the members, including Gimli, the Seven Dwarfs, and a few of Santa's elves, retired to a local bar for a few drinks.

Things were going well until it was time to pay the tab. Grumpy and Bashful collected money from the others, paid the bartender, then the group started to leave. The bartender discovered that they hadn't paid enough and yelled out, "Hey! You guys are short!", which, unfortunately, was misinterpreted. Thankfully, in the ensuing melee, little damage was done.

8. Which variety of Tea can you throw the furthest?

Hurl Grey

9. What did the bovine do to apologize after it ate two of the farmer’s pies?

Cow-Tao

10. TIL: To date no woman has run a 4 minute mile

I don't know of any woman who's had to run a mile to catch a guy.

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